I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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