direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
