I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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