Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He kissed a someone with a penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
