Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
