Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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