Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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