I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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