the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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