That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
