I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
