Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
