The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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