i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
