i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
