He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
