I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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