we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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