After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
