your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
