Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize