everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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