I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
