Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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