Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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