I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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