I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I fill condoms, not promises.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
