dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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