Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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