i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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