She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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