remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
