You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
