Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
