accomplished twins. life is a go
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
