youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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