can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
