are you so shy because you have an std?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
