just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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