God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
