I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude i'm inner monologue high
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
nutella sex= disaster
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
