It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
