You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
