i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
