i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
