Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
