Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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