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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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