I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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