So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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