And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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