Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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